Married couple's business fails after 20 years of success, husband expects wife to get two jobs so he doesn't have to work: ‘I'd never get to see my kids or husband’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Oct 14, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Becoming a successful business owner is not an easy feat, so when your business ultimately fails after a good multiple-decade run, it is a great loss.

The couple in this next story ran a business together for 20 years, but after demand became low for too long, they made the difficult decision to shut their doors and figure out a path forward. Starting over isn't easy, especially when you've put all of your eggs into one basket for the last two decades. What do you do when you have no will to put on the business suit and parade around in interviews, but you have to because sadness doesn't pay the bills? Why, you tell your wife to get two jobs so you don't need to get one, of course!

Just kidding, don't take this advice. The husband featured in this story sends his sister to convince his wife to take on two careers instead of one, just so he can continue healing from the business loss. Usually, a man wants to be the breadwinner; this is a funny flipping of stereotypes here. Though I'm a tried-and-true feminist, I think the wife getting two jobs isn't exactly equality.

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  • "We can't afford for him to sit home all day..."
    via Getty Images for Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This wife has tried to reason with her husband and be a pillar of emotional support while he reels from the loss of his business baby, but there can only be so much consolation before you need to snap your loved one out of it. This is the reality of life, and forcing the workload that should be shared between two people onto one person… It's just not right.

  • "AITA for refusing to get a second job?"

    My husband and I both started our own businesses 20 years ago. They were moderately successful in that, we weren't rich, but our
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  • financial needs have always been met up until the last 5 years. My husband's business is what most would consider a luxury service. When "times are
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  • tough", people do without said service. My husband tried several things to keep his business afloat, including taking out some loans and made some bad
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  • investments that have left us in not the best financial state. At this point, it costs more to operate his business than he is profiting from it. The writing has been
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  • on the wall the past several months, and he's finally agreed it's time to close the doors.
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  • Now, I totally understand that this is something that is upsetting to him. This business was his dream and you can't just let go of that mentally in a snap,
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  • especially not after 20 years. I have been very supportive and let him vent. I have encouraged him to go to therapy, though he has turned me down. I want to
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  • be as sensitive as possible. I wish my business were enough to keep us afloat until he was ready to figure out what he wanted to do next. Unfortunately, with all
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  • the bills we have, we can't afford for him to sit around and not do anything. Neither of us went to college, which does mean his options are limited. Going back to
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  • school isn't financially possible right now, nor does. he want to do that. He'd have to have a boss, potentially work weekends and weird hours, all the
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  • things you get to avoid when you have your own business of 20 years. I get why this isn't appealing to him, but unfortunately, it's what he has to do.
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  • My husband has really pushed back on getting a new job. I've tried to be as sympathetic as possible, but again, we can't afford for him to sit home all day.
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  • We've talked about it, several times. I show sympathy and empathy. I, again, tell him to seek therapy. It always ends in an argument where I am told I am being unreasonable.
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  • The other day, my sister-in- law (his brother's wife) came over to talk to me. She spoke to me as if I were 5 years old and said I needed to give him a break. She said
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  • that I cannot expect him to go back to having a boss after 20 years. She suggested that I get a second job. With the hours I work, I'd never get to see my
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  • kids or husband at that point. I said I'm not going to do that. If my business went under, of course I'd go and get a different job, but it is unreasonable for everyone to expect me to work all
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  • these hours while my husband does nothing (his help with the housework and the kids has dropped since he had to close the business, so I doubt me
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  • working would change that, so I'd be working 7 days a week, plus all that.) My sister-in-law just kept telling me that this is a sacrifice I should be making and that I am being unreasonable.
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  • Everyone else seems to agree, including my husband. I feel insane. Am I the asshole for not wanting to get a second job and expecting him to get one?
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  • a woman appears to be stressed while working on laptop
    via Vitaly Gariev for Unsplash

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • EndielXenon "Explain to me exactly how it is unreasonable to want my husband to contribute a fair share to the family income and/or workload? Explain to me exactly how it is reasonable to expect me to get a second job while there is a perfectly able-bodied person who's basically just sitting his ass on the couch?" NTA.
    via EndielXenon
  • blacklacha Yes this. But I'd break it down even further: Why should I be expected to have 2 jobs, when he doesn't even have 1?
    via blacklacha
  • Karamist623 This would break my marriage. I will not get 2 jobs so a person with no job can sit on their ass. "Get a job or get out"
    via Karamist623
  • Outside-Theme-9888 I can't get over how lame it is that a grown ass man sent his sister out to tell his wife that he should be allowed to sit on his ass?? Like what is he expecting to happen? It's not like his business is gonna magically return, is he expecting a sugar baby situation or something??
    via Outside-Theme-9888
  • Random_Association97 NTA He thinks he is now above working, so you should be 100% responsible for finances. If you are willing to take that on, why do you need him? He is treating you like a mother figure, and acting like a helpless baby. He needs to step up. (And getting his family to gang up on you? Oh heck no.)
    via Random_Association97

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